There are still some of the original tenants left in Portman Place (where I live). Today, as I was leaving, I saw a man who looked to be about 70 (though I suspect he was much younger), arms spotted with military-ish tattoos.
"Good morning young man."
"Good morning, how are you."
"Oh, not too bad, aching, drunk, cold."
What was noteworthy was not what he said, but how he said it. No trace of sarcasm at all in his voice. In fact, it straddled the border between stoicism and downright cheefulness. Stiff upper lip indeed. Then again, maybe he knows that his apartment is now worth several hundred thousand pounds and he can buy it at a huge discount from the government.
....
I'm totally reformed now. I really dislike Asian girls (with the exception of those whose first name ends in "a" and I have had a platonic relationship with for something between 10 years and and a month...wow that really does fit all the particular people I can think of...). I was in Tesco today... buying a liter of water...I was waiting in line with a Japanese dude behind me and his girl friend standing adjacent to me so we formed roughly an isoceles right triangle. I was counting out my 44 pence, and without warning...she spins around and throws her arms around her boyfriends neck (more specifically his Junichiro Koizumi/Johnny Tanaka mullet) and blabbers something unintelligible to me but simultaneously amorous and annoyingly spritely in tone... But more relevantly to me, she knocks into my hand and scatters my change over the 4 corners of the store. So now the line is long and everyone is waiting for me to bungle around the floor...where I am unable to recover the requisite 44 p and thus am still forced to break a £20 note. She utters, "SO SOLLY" (seriously) and her and her boyfriend scamper out the store before I can bitch slap both of them.
I am DEFINITELY not giving back the knife my grandfather made from the propeller of the Zero that crashed into his ship now. And some kamikaze will have to continue to wander in Shinto hell.
"Good morning young man."
"Good morning, how are you."
"Oh, not too bad, aching, drunk, cold."
What was noteworthy was not what he said, but how he said it. No trace of sarcasm at all in his voice. In fact, it straddled the border between stoicism and downright cheefulness. Stiff upper lip indeed. Then again, maybe he knows that his apartment is now worth several hundred thousand pounds and he can buy it at a huge discount from the government.
....
I'm totally reformed now. I really dislike Asian girls (with the exception of those whose first name ends in "a" and I have had a platonic relationship with for something between 10 years and and a month...wow that really does fit all the particular people I can think of...). I was in Tesco today... buying a liter of water...I was waiting in line with a Japanese dude behind me and his girl friend standing adjacent to me so we formed roughly an isoceles right triangle. I was counting out my 44 pence, and without warning...she spins around and throws her arms around her boyfriends neck (more specifically his Junichiro Koizumi/Johnny Tanaka mullet) and blabbers something unintelligible to me but simultaneously amorous and annoyingly spritely in tone... But more relevantly to me, she knocks into my hand and scatters my change over the 4 corners of the store. So now the line is long and everyone is waiting for me to bungle around the floor...where I am unable to recover the requisite 44 p and thus am still forced to break a £20 note. She utters, "SO SOLLY" (seriously) and her and her boyfriend scamper out the store before I can bitch slap both of them.
I am DEFINITELY not giving back the knife my grandfather made from the propeller of the Zero that crashed into his ship now. And some kamikaze will have to continue to wander in Shinto hell.
posted by akrites @ 5:16 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home