Self-Deprecating story of the day (the more astute of you will be able to fill in the subtext and get the most enjoyment out of this):

Ok, I had a date tonight. First date since....

I am sitting in the school library at 5, about to leave and do some quick shopping, and then go home and shower and meet the girl at 7. Well, I check my email and see one from a friend labeled "URGENT". So I check it, and my friend who is a lawyer says:

I need your urgent help. Do you know anyone studying LLM in London U so that
he/she has access to the Institute of Advanced Legal Studies Library? I am
looking for a case in a law report called "All South African Law Reports"
which is only available at the IALS library.

I would be most grateful if you could help. I need the case urgently. The
full citation of the case is: McIntyre en andere v Pietersen NO en Andere
[1997] 4 All SA 401 (T). The citation stands for All South African Law
Report (Transvaal Provincial Division).

Thank you very much in advance.


So I email my Russian friend in law school and then email my friend to alert my friend what I've done and give my new London number in case anything else is needed.

5:05
Then I get a frantic call, a weak and weary voice telling me that the case is needed by tomorrow for court.... I'm a bit hesitant... but the law library is only about 15 minutes away walking briskly. I'm a grad student so should be able to get into any federal library... and certainly I know how to get a book quickly... take it to the union and fax it off by 5:30... be home by 6:10...shower and be back on the tube by 6:40... and then be an acceptable 5 minutes late. (though that killed me with the Malaysian in leather pants... I guess I never learn) And I DO try to be loyal to my friends.

5:20
So I get to library, my shirt covered in old man racquetball sweat.. and surprise surprise...my student ID isn't enough... I can't enter without becoming a member. So I fill out a form and wait for the elderly gentleman to enter all my information into the computer... asking me to spell out everything I've written as my name looks odd to him.

5:49

I get into the library. Look on the floor map index for which floor has the reference number I need. It's L2, the basement. I run over to the elevator and see a sign:

Elevator out of order. To retrieve a book from the basement, fill out a request form and give it to the librarian. Books will be retrieved on the hour and half hour with last request taken ten minutes prior.

5:51

I hand the librarian my form... and he tells me he should have the book for me in 40 minutes... Ok now I'm gonna be really late. It's time for:

TXT SENT: Sorry got out of class late-can we make it 8?
TXT RCVD: C U @ 8

TXT RCVD: Did you get the article yet?

Waiting in library...

6:30 (damned if they aren't punctual)

The librarian emerges up the stairs with a solitary book.
"Here's your book sir"


I can't help but notice that this article, save the summary, is written in Afrikaans, a language I'm 99.9% certain my friend can't read.
I race over to the copy machine... plunk down a pound (btw.. I have £30 to live off for 2 weeks b/c my atm card expired) copy the pages and race to the ULU (union).

6:40

Of course, the copy store w/ a fax machine is closed.... what to do... scan and send! I'm nearly running down Regent Street looking for an internet cafe. The first three don't have scanners... finally, I find one that does but:

"The scanner and the printer are the same and you'll have to wait until people are done printing."

The Japanese girl using it prints her impressive resume of waitressing and cooking in impressive sounding prefectures in Japan in the hope of waitressing in a Japanese restaurant in London 3x, and then leaves the third copy dangling from the machine and leaves without paying.

6:55

Shit

TXT SENT:I'm really sorry, I'm gonna be another 30 min late. I promise I'll make it up to you
Finally, I can use the printer/scanner.

The guyfumbless with the wires and helps other customers constantly coming in for about 10 minutes.. and FINALLY the scanner works. The pages are scanned and emailed to me. £1.20

7:15

TXT RCVD: U know just forget it.

GAH

7:30

So, I get a computer and forward the email to my friend (this step required because I didn't remember the email off the top of my head). £1

TXT SENT: Let me know when you get the email and if you can read the atchmnt

TXT RCVD: I'm at home now and going to bed, I'll look at it tomorrow

MISSED CALL: JON (roommate)

TXT SENT: Sorry about the laundry dude, I'll be back in 45 min to take it out.

TXT RCVD: Do you have the landlord's number? We have a problem.

"Hey, Jon what's up?"

"Apparently, our plumbing is leaking into the apartment below us. We need to talk to the landlord."

.......

I've tried to contact the landlord repeatedly... maybe I'll post the letter I sent him tomorrow... and have never spoken to him. So Jon might be calling him now... but I don't think we're going to hear from him until I don't pay rent next month.


What, did you think I was going to run out of money?