One would think that the British would have suitably strong cold medicine to combat the unsuitably virulent diseases they have floating around here. The fact that I woke up no less than 10 times last night (and the night before... and the night before...) choking on my own sputum suggests otherwise. What I wouldn't do for some good old Nyquil, Robitussin, or Sudafed. What the fuck is "Buttercup Cough Elixir"? It just tastes like alcohol and castor oil.
I think that the melange of races and peoples here facilitates the most insidious and pestilent diseases known to mankind to breed under the sidewalk puddle skies of London. I mean the table that the Bengali guy was coughing all over in chinatown which is then wiped up by a gay Cantonese waiter with a dirty napkin that the that the Hungarian stripper wiped her mouth with is where I probably sat my elbows as I ate dinner last night. And this probably mild compared to the bacterial and viral vectors in the tube!
Ok, I really hope my mom doesn't read this but I have a confession. I live in a former council flat. That is... projects. It turns out that the projects in London are on such valuable property, that the poor were shipped out to Essex and Wessex and these were sold to landlords. It's similar to what's happening in Chicago (see Cabrini-Green). So all this hassle... all this wasted time... all this frustration at the punk ass landlord has been to live in the ghetto. I should have just moved to Brixton because while I might be even a little more likely to get shot there.. at least its cool.
My main gripe though is the fucking shifty Arab estate agent who lied to my face about what would be in the apartment (dryer).. and now the landlord and the agent keep passing the buck. But I have a reputation to keep here. In Europe Greeks are known to be cunning... like Jews in the US... So I'm not about to be made a monkey of...
And also... it has the fucking most uncomfortable couches ever constructed. I think granite park benches would have been nicer. Luckily for me, the chance of me ever bringing home a girl to one of them is -72.3254% (meaning its more likely I get pushed off the Tower Bridge)
My mistake here was the fateful phrase, "I trust your judgment". Sometimes I take this pan-Orthodox solidarity stuff too far. (One of my roommates is Bulgarian).
I think that the melange of races and peoples here facilitates the most insidious and pestilent diseases known to mankind to breed under the sidewalk puddle skies of London. I mean the table that the Bengali guy was coughing all over in chinatown which is then wiped up by a gay Cantonese waiter with a dirty napkin that the that the Hungarian stripper wiped her mouth with is where I probably sat my elbows as I ate dinner last night. And this probably mild compared to the bacterial and viral vectors in the tube!
Ok, I really hope my mom doesn't read this but I have a confession. I live in a former council flat. That is... projects. It turns out that the projects in London are on such valuable property, that the poor were shipped out to Essex and Wessex and these were sold to landlords. It's similar to what's happening in Chicago (see Cabrini-Green). So all this hassle... all this wasted time... all this frustration at the punk ass landlord has been to live in the ghetto. I should have just moved to Brixton because while I might be even a little more likely to get shot there.. at least its cool.
My main gripe though is the fucking shifty Arab estate agent who lied to my face about what would be in the apartment (dryer).. and now the landlord and the agent keep passing the buck. But I have a reputation to keep here. In Europe Greeks are known to be cunning... like Jews in the US... So I'm not about to be made a monkey of...
And also... it has the fucking most uncomfortable couches ever constructed. I think granite park benches would have been nicer. Luckily for me, the chance of me ever bringing home a girl to one of them is -72.3254% (meaning its more likely I get pushed off the Tower Bridge)
My mistake here was the fateful phrase, "I trust your judgment". Sometimes I take this pan-Orthodox solidarity stuff too far. (One of my roommates is Bulgarian).
posted by akrites @ 11:24 PM
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